who am i?

Hello again chickens!

I told you a little about me in the first post but I feel like I need to explain myself a bit more .

Let's start with who i am as a person,

My whole life, I never really had a plan , in fact i didn't actually think i would make it past 18 so now im 23 im lost and honestly a little scared ( the world is terrifying ) . so at 16 after dropping out of college after 6 months (school was never really my thing ) i started a job in a retail store , i am now a furniture advisor in this store and though it is a consistent SAFE job, i don't feel fulfilled and i constantly feel drained but due to the anxiety of taking a leap and trying something new i have stuck at this job for 6 years. I have done things to make me feel more like myself there by becoming one of the store's Plan A ambassadors with one of my colleagues Emma.

-Plan A is the stores plans to become more sustainable and ethical-

I have had a hate- hate relationship with my physical appearance for as long as i can remember, due to bullying and the rise of social media in my youth. And before you look at my picture and think ‘well why are you insecure? you're pretty '. stop right there! All those influencers that you see and think , I wish I looked like that, have probably done the exact same thing with another influencer . Everyone is insecure and everyone compares them self to others. Which is why we are becoming the best version of our self not becoming ‘that girl’

Mentally I have struggled with anxiety and depression for a very long time as well, I was on medication during 2020 and took myself off them at the beginning of last year ( not a good choice ) . my mental health was actually my inspiration to start these glow up chronicles. I have recently noticed I am getting bad again and that I'm constantly looking to escape life !

I have decided despite my fear of doctors and inability to talk about my problems , to contact my doctor and seek help again (yay me !) I have now been put on medication again( not going to disclose what one ) but we are at the moment of posting this,on day 5 of taking it again so still within the 2 week period of adjustment, cant lie not the most fun experience.

I went years suffering in silence because I didn't want to be a burden and honestly I didn't care what happened to me but I want to believe I have a greater purpose in life than to just stay here until I finally give up!

If you take anything from this post , though it is just me blabbering about myself, take this .

-If you are struggling in anyway please seek help ,from a doctor ,family or a friend ,

i know its hard and i know it's scary but you deserve to be happy and you deserve to be

Alive. People do care and they do want to love and help you but they can't until you

Allow them to come in and try -

Until next time chickens xoxo